Meeting Safely
Meet First. Play Later.
From first message to first scene: how to vet someone, where to meet in Nevada, and the safe call that should come with every first date.
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A kinky first date should look a lot like any other first date: coffee, a drink, a walk, somewhere public. It's there to find out whether the person in front of you matches the person in the messages – before anyone is tied up, blindfolded or alone with them.
Five stages
From first message to first scene.
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Day one
Talking on the site
Keep the conversation on bdsm-nevada.com until you've met. If they're in a hurry to switch to WhatsApp, Telegram or text, slow down: the site warns you about it for a reason.
- Read the whole profile, including anything they say about limits.
- Ask about their experience, and notice how they answer.
- Notice whether they ask about your limits, or skip straight to what they want to do.
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Before you meet
Checking they're real
Look for the verified badge. If it isn't there, ask them to do the free ID check or the short video check with a moderator – it costs them nothing.
It's also reasonable to ask for a reference: someone they've played with who will vouch for them. A video call of your own before meeting is reasonable too. Anyone who takes offence at being vetted has told you something useful.
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Meeting day
The first meeting
Somewhere public, busy and easy to leave. Get yourself there and home again, and go easy on the drink. No play at a first meeting, however well it's going – that's what the second one is for.
In the Las Vegas Valley there's somewhere busy open at almost any hour. In a smaller town, a café in daylight works. If you're driving between towns, meet halfway somewhere public.
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Every first date
The safe call
Before you go, tell a friend who you're meeting, where and when, and agree a time you'll check in. If they don't hear from you by then, they call. If you don't answer, they follow the plan you agreed. The card below is everything to send them.
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Later, by agreement
The first scene
Negotiated in advance, with limits and safewords agreed out loud, somewhere you're both comfortable. Keep the safe call going for the first few play dates with anyone new. The consent and negotiation guide walks through what to agree.
Safe call
Fill this in and send it to a friend before every first date.
- Meeting
- Their username, the name they gave you, and a link to their profile
- Where
- The place, with its address
- When
- What time you'll arrive, and when you expect to leave
- Getting there
- How you're travelling – and your route, if you're driving between towns
- Check in by
- The time you'll message to say you're fine
- If I go quiet
- What your friend should do, and when
Walk away
Red flags worth leaving for.
One on its own might be nothing. Two together is a pattern. You never owe anyone a meeting.
- Won't verify, won't video.And has a new reason every time you ask.
- Argues with a limit in messages.If they push back on a no on screen, expect the same in person.
- Wants the first meeting in private.Their place, yours or a hotel room. A first meeting belongs in public.
- Has no time for safewords.Or claims experienced players don't need them.
- Asks for money, gifts or 'tribute' before meeting.That's a script – see scams to know.
- Rushes everything.Meet tonight, play tonight, decide tonight.
- Their story keeps shifting.Age, town, experience, photos – details that won't stay still.
- Wants you to tell nobody.Discretion is normal in the lifestyle. Being cut off from the people who'd notice if something went wrong is not.
Start the right way
Find Someone Worth Meeting.
Join free and take it at your own pace – vetting included.
✦ Free to Join · Free ID Verification · 18+ Only ✦