Profile Guide
Write A Profile Worth Answering.
A step-by-step guide to writing a BDSM dating profile: what to say about your role, your interests and your limits, which photos to use, and what to leave out.
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On a kink site, your profile has two jobs. It has to make the right people want to write to you, and it has to tell the wrong people not to bother. Most profiles manage the first and forget the second. This guide covers both, section by section.
The essentials
Five things every profile needs
- Your role – and how sure you are of it.Dominant, submissive, switch, or still finding out. Certainty isn't required; honesty is.
- What you're looking for.A play partner, an ongoing dynamic, a relationship with kink at its centre, or people to learn alongside. These attract very different replies.
- Your experience, plainly.New, a few years in, or long-standing. Overstating it gets found out at the first negotiation.
- A handful of specific interests.Three that matter to you beat thirty ticked boxes. Pick them from the interests list as you sign up, then add a line about each in your own words.
- One or two limits.Not the full list – just enough that people who'd clash with you scroll on.
Small changes, big difference
Vague lines, rewritten
Role
Dom looking for sub.
Dominant, fairly strict, happiest with someone who enjoys rules and a bit of ritual.
Looking for
Open to anything.
Looking for one regular partner to build a dynamic with – not a string of one-offs.
Experience
Very experienced.
Six years in the lifestyle, mostly rope and protocol. Still learning impact.
Interests
Bondage, spanking, collars, latex, feet, roleplay, discipline, chastity…
Rope above all. Then service, and being given tasks that make someone's day easier.
Limits
No limits.
Hard no to anything that leaves marks above the collarbone. Everything else is a conversation.
The examples are illustrations, not quotes from real members.
Tone
Write like a person, not a menu
A profile written like a menu gets read like one. The people worth meeting want to know who you are when you're not in a scene: what you do with a Saturday, what makes you laugh, what you're reading. Two or three sentences of that make the kink part land as part of a person rather than a list of requests.
Write in your own voice, and read it out loud before you save it. If a line sounds like a demand, it will read like one. Your username is all anyone sees in place of your real name, so pick one you'd be comfortable saying across a café table – a scene name works well.
Pictures
Photos that help, not hurt
- A clear, recent photo of your face, when you're ready to share one – it's the quickest way to show you're real.
- Check the background: a house number, a car plate, a uniform or a workplace badge can identify you faster than your face.
- Keep anything explicit off your public photos. Anything that might be explicit arrives blurred behind a warning for whoever views it – and it's a poor first impression anyway.
- Not ready to show your face? Say so, and say roughly when you will – once you've talked for a while, for instance.
Leave it out
Five things to keep off your profile
- Phone numbers, email addresses and social handles. Stay on the site's messages until after a first meeting – the site warns members when someone tries to move a chat elsewhere, because it's a common first step in a scam.
- Explicit detail. It belongs in private conversation, once someone has shown they're interested.
- Lists of demands, and “no time-wasters” lines. They put off exactly the considerate people you want.
- Anything about money. Financial domination is a kink two people agree openly, once they know each other well – see scams to know.
- Anything you'd hate to see screenshotted.
Trust
Get verified
A free ID check earns your profile a verified badge. Prefer not to share documents? A moderator can confirm you over a quick video call instead. It's one more reason for someone to trust you enough to reply. VIP members can also search by experience level and by what someone is open to – so describing both accurately makes it easier for the right people to reach you.
A starting point
A profile to fill in
About me
Outside the bedroom I what fills your week. People tend to say I'm two honest words.
In the lifestyle
I'm a role with how much experience. What draws me most is one or two interests, in your words.
Looking for
a regular play partner / a D/s dynamic / a kinky relationship with someone who one quality that matters.
Limits
one hard limit. Everything else we can talk about.
A template, not a member – fill in the gaps in your own words.
Before you save
Ten-point check
- Your role, or that you're still exploring
- What you're looking for, in one line
- Experience, stated honestly
- A few interests, each with a word of your own
- At least one limit
- A face photo, or a note on when you'll share one
- Nothing that could identify your home or work
- No phone number, email or social handle
- ID or video verification done – it's free
- Read aloud once, and nothing makes you wince
Profile questions
Quick Answers.
Should I list my hard limits publicly?
One or two, yes – it saves everyone time. Keep the full list for negotiation with someone you've actually started talking to.
How long should my profile be?
Long enough to sound like you. A few short paragraphs is plenty; a wall of text gets skimmed.
Is it OK to say I'm new?
Yes. It's one of the most useful things you can say – it tells experienced people to slow down and puts off anyone looking for someone easy to push.
Should I use my real name?
No need. Members see your username, not your name, so a scene name you're happy to be called is ideal.
Ready to write yours?
Make Your First Impression.
Join free, build your profile with this guide open, and get verified while you're there.
✦ Free to Join · Free ID Verification · 18+ Only ✦